The Night Before Life Goes On
by AngelDeLumiere
Summary: Its the last night that they have together. The moon shines down peacefully on the two lovers, only making their parting more painful. It is barely a T, I'm just doing it to be safe.


I don't own any of this. I am just a child play with toys. I promise to put them back when I'm done.

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(The Night Before) Life Goes On--

She never believed it would come, but here it was. The pale moon shone down on them, bathing the world in a silverly glow. The grass blew in an unseen wind, bending in a gentle cadence that could have been a great symphony. Her ears would never hear it. A soft wind blew in from the sea, chilling her despite the heat he emanated. She leaned into him, struggling to get warm; her uniform always seemed a bit on the skimpy side on cold nights. He held her tightly, neither one ready to say goodnight. Not when goodnight meant goodbye forever.

The breeze blew gently. Lenalee's coal black hair covered her nose, and she brushed the tendrils away. She hated those wisps. He loved them. Trying to make her smile despite the agony written all over her face, he reached across her face and wrapped the longest of the short stray hairs around his pinky finger. That was the only finger that could wrap around any of the strands more than once. He forced her to face him. Lenalee smirked wryly, but her dour mood remained evident in her expression. Her eyes said all of the diatribe and anxiety that she would never voice. She snuggled in deeper into his chest, aching for the comfort of his embrace.

"Smile, Len," he whispered into her ear. His steamy breath hung in the air, before dissipating into the ebony atmosphere. Chills ran up her spine, and goosebumps raised on her flesh as the hairs on her arms stood up on end. It was ridiculous that one man could reduce her to such a state. Her entire body reacted to his voice, and his touch. She loved him.

"I only smile when I'm happy," she replied. Her breath hitched in her throat, and tears rolled down from her large, puppy-dog eyes. Dropping off the curve of her cheek, they hit his burning hand, icy cold to the touch. His thumb brushed them away as they fell from her eyes, the gruffness of it soothed her somewhat. Breathing heavily, she whispered, "Tonight isn't happy."

He shook his head in a fervent but gentle way. She watched, entranced, as his shaggy locks bounced in the wind. Her fingers brushed against the silky softness, reverent of it. He always had been uniquely uptight and possessive about his hair. With a half grin on his face, he answered her. "No, Lenalee. We can make it happy."

She turned to meet his dark, shadowed eyes. "I don't want to make it happy! I don't want it to end now, not when everything is so perfect." Leaning forward, she rested her head on his shoulder. Deeply inhaling, she took comfort in his familiar musk. "I want time to freeze like this forever."

His hand cupped her lower back, pulling her closer to him. She was almost in his hard lap. That was fine with her. She wrapped her arms around him, and started to silently sob on him. He chuckled, once again trying to lighten her mood. "Don't we all?" he mused. Her blotchy cheeks turned a rosy color and he could not help it. She just looked so delectable. He leaned down and kissed her passionately. Lenalee responded, eagerly, threading her fingers through his ample hair. She crushed herself against him with such force that they fell backwards. Lenalee did not notice during her rampant assault on his body. She ached for his touch; it always calmed her. Her hands roamed his body, rubbing up and down his chest. Threading her fingers through his buttonholes, she ripped his exorcist uniform in two. It was only in the way. Her heated kisses traveled down his chiseled chin, leaving a hot, wet trail that only increased his need for her.

Pulling away because he was in desperate need of air, he gasped out, "I love you,"

Lenalee pulled away. She looked down at him, puckered lips quivering. "Don't say that," she begged through her silent tears. "Please," she whimpered. "Don't. I can't bear to think of it…"

"What, Len?" He pulled back, his inky green eyes glared at her. She did not flinch under the intensity of his gaze. He could never strike fear into her heart, not when she loved him so. He really was a gentle person, despite whatever detached, aloof persona that he tried to adopt. "I love you, and I always will. I'm not going to hide it."

"Never," she whispered, despite herself. She loved him as much as he loved her. They were a part of each other, so intimately attached that they were no longer separate individuals. They could not exist without each other; tomorrow, they would.

"I know," he murmured. His lips rested on the corner of her mouth. When he spoke, they would brush against hers, igniting sparks that heated her entire body. Oh how she loved him.

"You are so beautiful." He stated it like he stated that the sky was blue. He never doubted that claim. He called her beautiful every day. To him, she was Aphrodite, the only thing worth looking at. No one in the world was comparable.

It always made Lenalee's heart thump loudly to hear him that. No matter how casually he uttered those words, never once did she doubt him. She grabbed the remnants of his uniform and laid her head on his muscled arm. "Don't go," she sobbed.

"I won't, if you don't want me to," he said, completely serious. Lenalee knew that she had him wrapped around her little finger. If she told him to stay, he would without a second thought. It broke her heart that he could be so self-sacrificing that he would give up on his dreams and ambitions, his duties if only to make her happy. She wished that she had the strength to give him up, to give him a better life.

"No." She shook her head against his arm. "Go. You have to,"

"You are so much more important to me than any dream, or any obligation, Lenalee. I'd give it all up for you happily." He lifted her chin and met her eyes so that his words had the full impact. He had just given her the declaration of love that every girl dreamed of, and it cut her to the bone. He deserved so much better than the Black Order had to offer.

"I don't want you to," she told him truthfully. She didn't want him to stay when he could do so much better.

He flinched. "D'h…Do you really want me to leave?" he asked. His voice cracked, weak and broken, shattered before she could answer.

She didn't even have to think. She wanted him to have the best life he could. It was obvious that that life was far away from England and the Black Order. If prosperity and happiness lay in wait for him somewhere out there, beyond the vast expanse of sea and the rolling masses of land, she wanted him to have it, to experience it all. "Yes," she answered. "More than anything."

"I see." His voice broke. He stood up, and gruffly brushed the dirt of off of his pants. He surveyed the land around the castle, noting that everything seemed so small when he stood on the roof of one of the many turrets. It had always been his and Lenalee's secret getaways whenever Komui was too overbearing. "I'll see you later then,"

"Huh?" Lenallee looked up, startled. He had mistaken her want for his to do well as a sign of her falling out of love with him. "NO! Wait!" she shrieked. But it was too late. He had already climbed back inside castle, and storm off down the hall. She heard the room door slam shut a minute later, and she broke out into sobs. Life wasn't fair.

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A month passed since he left. He never told her goodbye, even though she sought him out. He said that he didn't have time for her anymore, that he had to focus on what lay ahead of him. She had never felt such pain in her life as she did at those words. She might as well as have been beheaded by Mugen. Komui was devastated a month later when the morning sickness came. He was furious with him for doing to this her, and furious with her for not telling him. Lenalee could not bring herself to draft the letter, and she expressedly forbid anyone else to pen him one. He had left the Black Order on a permanent assignment. If he and the Order had their way, she would never lay eyes on him again. Lenalee was fine with that; she wished him the best in his knew life. It certainly would be less complicated and dangerous than his current one was. For that, she was thankful.

Komui was very supportive during the entire pregnancy. All of her friends were. Miranda often held her hair away from her face, and would pat her back in a soothing manner. Sometimes Lenalee relied on those tender ministrations to keep her going. It had once been suggested that she terminate her child, and that foolish exorcist had been effectively castrated. Lenalee would never ever give her child, and she most certainly was not going to harm it. She loved it already. Chaoji and Arystar built her a daedal crib for the infant. It was gender neutral but extravagantly elegant. She loved it, and had wept tears of joy when they presented it to her.

Despite the support she received, Lenalee was well aware of the whispers. Many people within the Order were furious that she would do something so sinful. How could she be a dedicated follower of God, an exorcist, if she so blatantly sinned? Rumors flew that her love child was her Innocence's judgement on her, and that it would be horribly disfigured and a burden to her for the rest of her life. Despite the rumors, Lenalee knew that her baby would be healthy and strong; he--for she was sure that she carried a son--would become a great General for the Order, and help bring peace to the world.

Months passed. Eventually, she had to give up training for a desk job, and in time, even the doctor had her stop that. She didn't have much to do, Lenalee often occupied herself with walks, or with thinking up a suitable name for her son. List after list cluttered the floor of her room. No name seemed good enough for him. He was destined to be great, and he needed a name that demanded greatness. She was talking with Jerry in the mess hall when a nauseating sound filled everyone's ears. Exorcists, scientists and general bystanders looked around to see what clumsy oaf had spilled their drink. It took Lenalee a moment to realize that her water had broken.

"Oh, my!" she exclaimed. One hand flew up to her mouth while the other cupped her swollen belly. She wasn't expecting her boy to come so soon. She still had another week. He, apparently, had other ideas. Judging by the pains that coursed through her, he wanted out, and he wanted out now.

"Lenalee!" Jerry cried. He ran around to grab her just as her knees gave out. People began to crowd around her. Some just wanted to watch the exorcist make a spectacle of herself; others were genuinely concerned. Miranda shoved her way to the front, Komui and Krory right behind her.

"It's time," she addressed everyone before grabbing her stomach in agony.

Komui paled significantly. "Let's go,"

Lenalee did not complain as he rushed her out of the mess hall and to the medical ward. The staff was all aflutter as they prepped Lenalee. The birth was expected to be Wednesday of next week, so things had not been prepared yet for the young mother. Birthing him was painful, but she did so without complaint. She already loved her son and refused to make his birthing a hateful experience. She did scream and swear but never cursed him, the father, the doctor or God. She later did admit that she was thankful when it was over. Nine hours of labor.

The next day, a nurse named Amy handed Lenalee her beautiful baby boy. She had seen him before but never truly got the chance to hold him before she passed out from exhaustion. Now, she completely enjoyed him. Komui had gone back to his rooms to briefly shower but promised to return with books and food. The hospital food was just not to her liking.

"Are you all alone, honey?" Gretta, an elderly nurse, asked Lenalee.

Lenalee nodded and gently held her child, afraid that she was going to break him. She had naturally done all of the proper research and set up the best nursery that she could afford in her little room, but still, there was nothing like real life experience to teach a person. "He's beautiful," she whispered with reverence.

Gretta nodded her head. "He is." Proceeding to fill out the birth certificate, she paused only to adjust something for Lenalee or to ask her a question regarding her son. During this time, Lenalee learned how to breast feed. It was an odd sensation, to say the least. As her son fell asleep on her breast, Gretta asked her one final question. "I'm going to need the name of the baby's father,"

"Benjamin Lavi Ayoka," a voice that she thought she would never hear again declared proudly from the door.

Gretta turned one-hundred eighty degrees, so stunned that her mouth hung open. Lenalee looked at the only man she had ever loved, the man she sent away, the one she never wanted to see again yet hoped with all of her heart that she would. He looked haggard and exhausted. He must have traveled a great distance quickly in order to get in time for the birth.

"Lavi," she breathed out. "How did you know?"

Lavi did not waste time talking to her. He covered the distance between them in two strides. He pulled her close, and kissed her with unbridled passion, all the while incredibly careful of his sleeping baby. "I can't believe you never told me," he gruffly whispered. Pulling back, he panted as he kneeled down so that they were eye level. His hand instantly was intertwined with hers, and he brushed away a tendril of hair that obstructed his view of her face.

Flushing, Lenalee stuttered out, "I didn't want you to hold back."

"Oh, Len," he murmured with complete adoration. "You and our child, my son," he paused, basking in the glory of fatherhood, of having a family, "You are all I ever wanted. The only way you would be holding me back would be to never tell of me this magical thing- of our son."

"He is beautiful," she breathed out.

"Handsome, Len. Boys aren't beautiful," Lavi teased. It felt so good to have him back where he should be, where he always should have been. Lenalee smiled at him, unable to find fault with anything in the world when he smiled at her like that.

"Our boy is," she defended.

Lavi chuckled. Lenalee reveled to be in his presence again. Her heart was bursting with love him and their child. "What is his name?" he asked.

"Resolve," she answered with some trepidation.

"Resolve?" he repeated with the tiniest bit of curiosity. "Why that?"

"A boy needs a name to live up to, to tell him that he needs to be someone, to do something with his life," Lenalee answered. "His name is Resolve…Ayoka," she added with a soft smile.

Hearing his last name added onto Resolve's made Lavi the happiest man in the entire world. "Resolve Ayoka it is." Leaning forward, he kissed Lenalee softly. "And your name is going to be Lenalee Ayoka from now on."

Lenalee giggled. "Is that a proposal?"

"No." Lavi shook his head belligerently. "I ain't asking, Lenalee, I'm telling. You are mine, forever."

"Forever," Lenalee repeated. "I like the sound of that."

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This is the first D. Gray-Man fanfiction that I have written, so the characters might be a little OOC. Ironically, this is the only manga that I have read completely--well, at least, the parts of it in English any way. Read it, review it, love it and favorite it. I'm not asking too much am I, lol?


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